he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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