I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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