well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
