You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
