nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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