I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
