she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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