My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
