When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
