well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
