so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
