First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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