I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
