I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize