does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They took my balls.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Still dying that you shit outside
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
