somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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