so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
