is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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