I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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