My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
