Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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