i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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