saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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