It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
