Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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