Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
