Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
