That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
