You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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