She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
