hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.