you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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