guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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