end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am available for nakedness
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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