Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
