Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
