I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
