Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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