We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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