I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
