oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
