why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
