I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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