I only kidnapped one of them. chill
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize