I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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