did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The air taste purple.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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