You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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