When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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