she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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