high people should be assigned attendants
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize