id be glad to
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's blow job season.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
