i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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