i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
