Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
