There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
