I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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