ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
