We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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