i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
