Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
