she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
so much tequila, so little girl.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize