i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
