Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize