he wants to bone in the snuggie
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
