Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
