why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need to calm my uterus...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
